When Fear Rules !

Archive for March, 2019

Negative Thoughts…So Destructive !

by on Mar.31, 2019, under Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Agoraphobia and OCD

They often hit in the middle of the night, or just as you are waking up. This is the time when your more conscious mind is asleep on the job of helping you rationalize your way through life.They are like worms that burrow their way through your mind, and each time you allow them to go on and on, they run deeper. They leave a slime in your thought patterns, so then the next time, maybe the next night, the negative and self deprecating thoughts come into your dreams faster and run deeper, eroding your self-esteem.

They often hit when there is an emotional conflict in your life that you are ignoring or avoiding, when you are not dealing with an issue at work or in your personal life that you know you should. You may be going through a health crisis that needs to be addressed and not ignored.

Avoidance of issues in one’s life is a common occurrence. It can bring temporary calm on the surface when you put off dealing with some pervasive issue. But you cannot escape, and should not. As quick as the thoughts are recognized, you must identify the issue. Sometimes you need to get out of bed and wake up the conscious mind for just a few minutes. It is worth it, because you will not get a restful sleep if you ignore the issues.

You must put the brakes on and affirm that you will take steps to deal with that issue, and then upon arising from your not so restful slumber, do just that. Say, ” I know what the issue is, now I have to create steps to deal with it.” Not all at once, if it is complicated, but create steps and take them one at a time so you can honestly say you are doing what you can to deal with instead of avoid.That is what is called taking control. Making a plan.

Gene Benedetto, Psychologist/ Retired
The Benhaven Group
www.RuledByFear.com

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It is what it is, so deal with it….OR…Look at my options.

by on Mar.31, 2019, under Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Agoraphobia and OCD

I speak with many people who are experiencing some very real challenges in their lives that they could allow to be all consuming or devastating.

A writer who develops Parkinsons Disease.

A therapist who has a stroke and cannot speak.

A surgeon who survives a plane crash, but as a result, he or she does not regain full use of his hands.

A Tool and Die maker who cannot stand any longer and lost use of his dominant arm.

While these can really be traumatic and life changing events, in some cases the individuals have options to use their talents and skills in some other way, rather than just accept that their life is over.

We all have potentially valuable skills that may not have been tapped.

The writer above can learn to dictate his or her words instead of become tragically frustrated by the physical inability to write or type.

The therapist can create a Blog to reach out to others and share the gifts he has to offer as a therapist.

The Surgeon, even if actual surgery is out of the question, can teach at a medical school.

The tool and die maker can make creative adjustments with his tools and make baby cribs for the baby dolls for kids at some of the most prestigious children’s hospitals .

I have seen each of the above situations with my own eyes and have witnessed a miraculous re-energizing take place with some clients I have had the pleasure of working with over the years.

We all need to explore our gifts, or in some cases re-explore talents that we have abandoned in the past for whatever reason, and focus that energy on bringing worth and value back into our lives, and the lives of others.

Gene Benedetto, Psychologist / Retired
The Benhaven Group

RuledByFear.com

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