When Fear Rules !

“Why am I feeling so sensitive to the comments of others lately ?” JT

by on Nov.05, 2020, under Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Agoraphobia and OCD, Dealing with Controlling or Manipulative People, Self-Esteem

Dear J,

As I mentioned to you when we talked after I received your question, there are potentially many issues going on in your life.

First, your boss, who you said was being more critical of you lately, may be in the midst of anxiety and conflicts himself because the Covid Virus has effected his business. In that case you might mention that he seems a little on edge recently and if there is anything he has a problem with regarding you or your work, you would be happy to discuss the issues as you want to be successful and add to the bottom line of his business.

Then on the other hand, if he shows signs or a pattern of being critical of not only you, but most employees, and if there appears to be a pattern of control and manipulation on his part, you may want to seek another position.

However, in our discussion today, upon my probing your personal frustrations and conflicts, you seemed to be very critical and upset with yourself for the significant and persistent weight problem that has become an increasing frustration. I am betting that the weight has you feeling very out of control and fills your head with self-critical thoughts and potentially leads to lower self-esteem, whereby you are expecting others to be critical of you and to be judging you.

You and I decided to set goals and touch base in two weeks, because I believe if you see yourself taking control of the weight in reasonable steps, your self esteem will rise, your self talk will turn more positive, and your sensitivity to whatever comments you hear from others will be lessened. I will offer you SUPPORT, which we all need, as you increase your self esteem based on tangible evidence [the loss of a few pounds} you can use to fight off those negative thoughts.

Gene Benedetto, Psychologist/Emeritus
The Benhaven Group


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