When Fear Rules !

Loved to Death: Chapter 10 Meagan Sees Red

by on Dec.16, 2020, under First Book : Loved to Death

There was no initial reaction from Lucius to Meagan moving into his brother’s home, which would be very strange if we were not dealing with a sociopath. I felt he was just taking his time to plot and plan his next move and strategy. That is what sociopaths do !

Meagan was still very anxious at what her daddy’s next move would be, but kept herself busy making up the school work she had missed due to the chaos of the past few weeks. She had a private bedroom on the first floor, which was spacious and very comfortable as it was meant to be the master bedroom. Larry and Ann’s bedroom was on the second floor along with a third bedroom and full bath. I understood that their daughter was epileptic and they wanted their bedroom close to hers so they could help her if she had a seizure. The daughter was married now and moved away, but they never moved back into the master bedroom. Meagan was getting along well with her aunt and uncle, but no questions were asked by them about the rapes or any of the issues with Lucius. They tended to be avoiders of stress. I wish I would have known that, but there were no other choices open as far as I knew from Meagan as to places she might feel safe. I am trying to convince Meagan to go to therapy to resolve many of her issues with her father, especially now that he had used her rape on campus as an excuse for something he always had in his mind, incest ! He would have control of her, complete control, and in his warped mind, he could justify his truly irrational and sick thinking.

Then the first contact was made by Lucius to Larry. Larry explained the Rules which Lucius would have to abide by if he wanted to see Meagan. They never discussed the Campus rape and subsequent attempt at rape by Lucius of  his own precious daughter, just the rules of engagement. Lucius, matter of factly said he would be happy to pay for Meagan to see a Psychologist to work on her issues. In fact, he had taken the step to set up an initial appointment and gave Larry the details. Of course, I had serious  doubts about this and felt it was part of some diabolical plan of having control of her therapy.

Larry then went to Meagan and shared the news. She was reluctant to respond because she knew somehow anything Lucius was involved with led to chaos, but not having an excuse to not go and knowing she had to please her Coach as far as seeing a therapist, she agreed.

“Coach, I have my first appointment with a Psychologist that Lucius set up for me. I am very skeptical because he set it up, but I figure he will deny anything I say he has done anyway, so why not go for myself, and to please you.”

“Meagan, I share your cautiousness about anything Lucius sets up, but maybe in his sick mind he is trying to look good. I was giving you a few days to settle in before I pressed you on starting therapy. I would prefer you setting up your own appointment with a therapist who works for the University Counseling Service because they most frequently deal with many of the issues people your age have experienced. So if you do not want to see the Psychologist that Lucius set up for you, you do not have to see her, and can set up your own therapy.  If you decide to see this Psychologist and you do not click, you don’t  feel comfortable with her, you do not have to go back.”

My thoughts: Lucius would not set up and pay for therapy without a game plan that is in his favor. If he really wanted help for Meagan, he would have done something immediately after the rape at school. What is this devious mind up to ?

“Coach, I had my first appointment with ‘Red’.”

“Red, Meagan !”

“Yes, Coach, her name is Dr. Olivia, she is a Psychologist with flaming red hair and had her License framed and hanging on the wall, and a copy framed on her desk ! She sure likes you to know how important she is. 

“ How did it go Meagan ?” 

“ It was overwhelming, and I got so choked up when she asked what I was there for that I could not talk, the words just would not come out. My mouth got so dry and and my throat …I just could not swallow. I was embarrassed. She showed no emotion and just kept taking notes and after twenty minutes asked me to return at the same time next week. I am sorry Coach.  I failed !”

“Meagan, no problem. That happens to clients who are holding in so much emotional conflict. I can’t imagine why she would have just dismissed you without saying more, or giving you more time to calm yourself or do some relaxation exercises with you to break the ice  and calm you down !”

“ I really screwed it up. She must think I am crazy. That would happen often when Lucius would say something to me that I disagreed with or upset me, and I would just freeze.”

“Just go back if you wish, and remember, you need to feel comfortable with this therapist.”

As  a therapist we learn many ways to get our clients relaxed enough that we can get past first session jitters. Why didn’t ‘Red’ work to relax Meagan ?

Meagan kept busy for the next week making her room comfortable and catching up with her assignments. She came to Group, but was quiet. I gave her some space. I expect Lucius will never give up his battle for control of Meagan. I just do not know how strong our Support Team is at this time since it consists of the on-line group, Larry and Ann,  me, and hopefully her new therapist, Red. I keep thinking that Larry and Ann will fold under increased pressure from Lucius unless they are willing, along with Meagan, to take it all the way and abide by the Rules we set up.

The next day I got a note from Meagan that her appointment with Red was rescheduled for the next day. I do not have a good feeling !  

As soon as the second appointment was over, Meagan contacted me.

“ Coach, don’t make me go back to see Red. I went to her office today, and she was friendlier. I still cried and sobbed like a baby, but was able to tell her about the rape at school, Then I told her about Lucius coming into my room and trying to force sex on me. First she insisted I call Lucius my father, I was being disrespectful otherwise. Then she said I was hysterical and confused and was most likely imagining my father abusing me because of the trauma of being raped by the boys. I could not believe what she was saying, and I screamed at her, and started crying harder. I could not stop ! She picked up the phone and was talking to someone, and then my father walked in. Red said it was best for me to go home and rest and she would set up another appointment to deal with my post traumatic stress disorder, whatever that is. I would not let daddy, I mean Lucius, take me home even though he said he would take me back to Uncle Larry’s. So he called Larry to pick me up, without arguing with me.  He is evil ! Red is taking his side without knowing me and all that has happened.”

“ Meagan, I want to hear everything he said, so breathe, and take your time. ”

“While I was waiting for Uncle Larry,  Lucius said he  was talking to my best friend,  well my only friend Kathy, and she was struggling financially because her parents cannot afford much. So he is taking her this afternoon to buy her a car. And then he told me that I was not going to win with this little game I am playing with my Coach, Uncle Larry and Aunt Ann. “ You will be home with me soon. I miss you and want you ! “ Then he went back in to talk to Red.”

Lucius os playing the divide and conquer game, causing Meagan to feel isolated, weakening her resolve to stand up for herself !

“ Coach, I hate him. He is evil ! I was so blind. I know what he did to me, not just with his trying to rape me, but for all those years. I have so many memories of things he would say or do that made feel there was something wrong with what he was saying, but then I put those thoughts out of my mind. I just thought I was crazy for thinking those things. And, sometimes I was just scared of the looks he gave me. How could I be so stupid, stupid, stupid !”

“ Meagan, sorry that this happened. Maybe you were blind, but now you see. I have to believe this was all part of the set-up by your father. He must have some control over Red, or bought her off. We will find out and deal both Red and your father. And the game he is playing by telling you that he is buying a car for your best friend is typical of a manipulative personality. He is trying to isolate you, separate you from any friends or support system you have  so you cannot fight against him. But you have me, and I will not back off. We will build an even stronger support system. Every time he plays his games, we need to collect the evidence and use it against him. He feels untouchable but that is only because no one understands his games and tactics, or is just plain scared. Stick with me and we will build a Support System and evidence that eventually will take your father down a notch or two so he cannot harm you. I would suggest you call the Counseling Service at your school and set yourself up an appointment with a female therapist. Please do this. We are not going to let Lucius win. In fact he already lost !”

“ Coach, how did he lose ? “

“ Meagan, he lost you and that will eat away at him at night when his manipulative mind is not running full speed. He is left with a wife who has no love for him either !”

“Coach, I will call the Counseling Center if you say so, but what if no one believes me ?”

“ I believe you Meagan ! And a good therapist will too !”

“Please, just do it Meagan and let me know when the appointment is set. I will attempt to call the therapist when you let me know who it is and when your appointment is set up. You must focus on the fact that you are developing a plan of  your own, career choices and a life. You are not as dependent on Lucius as you thought because you are a smart young lady who has many good choices. You have seed money from your Grandpa. Hopefully it works out with your Uncle and Aunt. If not, there are options. I mentioned Ohio, and I was serious. We have Kent State University, Akron University, Case Western Reserve, Baldwin Wallace, and John Carroll to mention a few.”

After all that has happened I had little desire to call Larry or Ann. The thought kept running through my mind that this was not truly a supportive home Meagan and that her Uncle and Aunt were not emotionally tuned in to what Meagan had been through. They were in denial because of their fears. But, I placed a call later to Larry to let him know what was happening with the Counseling. He seemed disappointed to hear that it went poorly and reported noticing that Meagan seemed down after he picked her up but did not ask any questions. I thought, you Larry, did not ask any questions ? Why not ? 

“ Larry, I am sure this was a set-up. I am not sure how to find out what connection there is between Lucius and Red, but there is, I can feel Lucius’ manipulation at work. “How could he turn “Red” into his puppet ?”

 Larry’s response was, “We were so pleased she was going  and that Lucius helped set it up.”

“ Well Larry, that is just it, it was a set-up. Do you hear me ? You cannot trust your brother with anything. He is a schemer without a conscience Larry, let me know how Meagan is reacting. I have to persuade her to go see someone else, without Lucius knowing.”


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