When Fear Rules !

Attracting Difficult People !

by on Mar.27, 2011, under Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Agoraphobia and OCD, STOPPING ABUSE

Sometimes we ATTRACT difficulty people. The adapting personalities are most vulnerable to these harder to please and often very needy personality types.


Adapting personalities are most often those of us who seek approval, who stretch beyond the norm to help, fix, please or do what we feel “should” be done for our fellow man. Doesn’t sound like a bad thing, does it ? However, manipulative, controlling and needy people tend to pick up the signals given off by adapting, approval seeking personalities, so we are on their radar. And, our problem is that we have a hard time setting boundaries. It is a good thing to be there for others, however, if you do not keep your eyes wide open and your emotional barometers set on “alert”, you miss the usually obvious indications that you are being taken advantage of, even emotionally abused and used.

Yes, open your eyes. You can take stock of those family members, friends and peers who take more energy from you then they ever attempt to replace through similar good deeds and efforts to be there for you. Make a list right now of all the “significant” people in your life. How much emotional and physical effort do you put into pleasing each of those individuals ? Have you ever asked any of these people for help or assistance, large or small, frequent of seldom ? Can you depend on them as they depend on you ?

This is not to say you can not or should not do something out of the “goodness of your heart”. However, stand back and look at how much energy you put out versus how much you are taking back in. Unless you run on air, the lack of some energy returning into your space by those you care about and stretch to assist, will lead eventually to feelings of anger and resentment not only towards the offending person, but also towards yourself because anger makes you feel out of sorts, and in conflict.

What do YOU think ? Is there a balance in your life ?

Gene Benedetto, Psychologist

:, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

18 Comments for this entry

  • Life Plus

    Hi there can I reference some of the content here in this blog if I reference you with a link back to your site?

  • BioBasics

    The weblink you delivered definitely will not seem to work, does anybody at all have a mirror or backup website link source?

  • vergleichen

    This is the right blog for anyone who wants to find out about this topic. You realize so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!

  • 24 piece mac brush set

    Thanks for this insightful post. The info I have gained from your blog is truly inspiring

  • Head tennis rackets

    I like what you guys are up also. Such smart work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my site 🙂

    • Barbara

      how to stop these panic akactts while driving?heres the story with what happened:yesterday around 10 at night my friend and i were driving to get something to eat and then we were going to go to walmart, but first we parked in the very back of the parking lot to eat our food before we went in and we were in the back so not many people were around. well all of the sudden this older black guy comes staring dead at me and walking straight towards my car, right when i turn my head back up he is right by my car tapping on the window and then he tries to open the door and i quickly lock it. then he goes for the back door and so i lock all my doors and then he starts making a fist with his hands and has this reallyyy scary face expression that scared the crap out of me. he was literally trying to get us out of the car and so i quickly turn my car on and slam on the gas and get out of the parking lot and then he gets in his car and we thought he was following us. but we ended up making it home fine and everything, but it scared me soo bad. i started having a panic attack. (we are 17 btw) i drove earlier today to run a few errands and when i parked in cvs i saw a guy just walking to his truck that was parking beside mine and i started panicking. i dont know what to do now, i mean its over and everything but it scared me so bad im having panic akactts, and when i have them i feel like im going to pass out. please help me..now i had another panic attack today driving and its really starting to get to me, and i cant get them to stop from happening no matter what i do?

  • disabled dating

    I am linking this webpage from my private blog . this has all the usefull info necessary.

  • hemorroides traitement

    Hello! I just would like to give a huge thumbs up for the great info you have here on this post. I will be coming back to Attracting Difficult People ! Ruled By Fear for more soon.

  • kickboxing Houston

    hank people for that strategies! I wouldn’t currently have been given it without any subsequent aid! Is that it well to make sure you useful resource reasons for the following on my small websites basically if i incorporate a one way link to that webblog?

  • dell inspiron 17r reviews

    Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to say that I’ve truly enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

  • katalog stron internetowych

    Tell my your secret how to create such a good blog.

  • Christy Dankmeyer

    Many thanks for the art, it is interesting and compelling. I have found my way here through Google, I am going to return one more time 🙂

  • SEO Help

    I am incessantly thought about this, thankyou for putting up.

  • Best Dating Girls Help

    some genuinely interesting information, well written and loosely user genial .

  • online dating for disabled people

    If you are going for finest contents like myself, simply visit this website everyday for the reason
    that it offers quality contents, thanks

  • El Faro

    A new failed relationship made me start looking for an answer to this riddle. I found you and i feel like i got new clues to deal with me and this difficult persons i end up with. It shocks me how well you described the situation and let me add, we’re not only attracting needy people but we are catching the river monsters, true beings from the dark side. Antisocials, sociopaths, emotional abusers, suicidal persons. Its horrible how emotional matters or mental health are engulfing our society. I’ll follow this trend until the end of my days. Thank you.

  • What Men Secretly Want

    thanks you for sharing .a like this.

Leave a Reply

Looking for something?

Use the form below to search the site:

Still not finding what you're looking for? Drop a comment on a post or contact us so we can take care of it!