When Fear Rules !

When Men Abuse Children Part 2

by on Jul.25, 2011, under STOPPING ABUSE

When Men Abuse Children

There are many problems in our world, so the issue of children being sexually abused by adult men, or women, tends to get lost in the heaps of bad economic news, the instances of terrorism, the efforts to survive and support our families and all the other life struggles that bewilder us every day. We can be so overwhelmed by it all, that we sort of go NUMB.

When you work with children who have been abused, there is no way to go numb. When you see how much sexual abuse effects their entire lives, the way the child perceives herself, you cannot help but be both angered at the abusers and terribly disappointed by the fact that maybe 76,000 children are victims of sexual abuse every year.

My most recent and painful experience has been with a child who has just lately shown signs of recovering a bit of her fragile self-esteem after experiencing the very dark side of some very sick men. Somehow, she was truly beginning to believe that there were some good people out there, maybe even a few that she could trust.

Then one day, while innocently riding her bike, the company man who was hired to care for the lawn, and whom this child saw talking in friendly ways to her mom and dad, lured this child into a distant corner of the property, and then sexually abused her, threatened her in ways that would scare any one of us, totally catching her off guard because she dared to trust this man for a few moments.

Sexual abusers are some of the greatest con artists in the world. Their sickness allows them to cross all boundaries, to say things that paralyze their young victims.
“ If you tell anyone, I will come back and steal you and your baby sister and cut you both into little pieces just like that little boy on the news the other day.”

The one ray of light is that this child told me what had happened, and with much fear in her heart, she and I both told her dad who took swift action which meant the man was caught, and did admit to what he had done. Would you believe, the company he works for never did a background check ?

Although the damage is done and this child is suffering yet again with an overwhelming fear, a deep level of embarrassment, and worst of all, a feeling that SHE has failed, she has disappointed, she is a bad girl for somehow allowing this to happen, IF we can help her see how brave she was to tell me, if we can help her see that she was a victim and is truly in no way responsible for what happened , we have a chance to help her survive and grow stronger.

The only chance we have to stop sexual abuse, emotional abuse and physical abuse is if the abused party can expose the abuser. Do you know how hard that is for a vast number of abused girls, or boys for that matter ?
Be aware that abusers are all around us. Most likely, someone in your office, one of your relatives, maybe one of your friends has the potential and lacks the self control that has or will cause them to abuse a child. Uncomfortable, isn’t it ?

Don’t bury your head in the sand. This could be YOUR child or grand child, now or in the future.

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