I often hear from past clients and others responding to my blog that even after going for years without major anxiety or panic attacks, that “out of the blue”, they were again experiencing anxious feelings, which brought on the fear of experiencing panic attacks …again. They were frustrated to say the least, as they thought they were past all these symptoms and had better control of their anxious thoughts.
However, I would in most cases be able to get them back on track. The facts are, first, there are some personality types who are more prone to anxiety. This does not mean they are weak, but barring any physical causes, some of us are just more sensitive to approval, tend to want to keep the peace, and avoid conflict. Some of us more easily find ourselves in some emotional conflict, and falling back into our old habits of avoiding the conflicting issues or manipulative people, thereby causing the anxiety of avoidance. We are not robots. Even as many have learned to stand their ground when we disagree, or express opinions that vary from that of a more aggressive people, it is natural to be caught off-guard and avoid a conflicting situation or person in our lives. This is a wake-up call, a reminder that you have a right, and even an obligation to yourself to stand up for what you believe….but do so respectfully.
This is even more an issue when we are going through a transition in our lives. Going into a new career, or
being promoted to an even more responsible position, or even facing a normal transition such as retirement can shake up our self-esteem. Many have to find new places to invest their mental and emotional energies… and if they have not planned carefully, they may feel more a sense of loss than an opportunity for growth. They may feel overwhelmed if they have no thought out plans and taken small steps to re-invent themselves before the actual time comes.
When the mind has nothing planned to focus on, there is a tendency to refocus on negative thoughts and feelings, past traumas and pains and conflicts. We just need to set reminders for ourselves, maybe a few notes in our calendar to check if we are avoiding.
Gene Benedetto, Psychologist Emeritus, Life Coach
Facebook : RuledbyFear
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