“ So what can I do for you Meagan, are you enjoying the the on-line Support Group ?”

Meagan responded somewhat cautiously. “ I don’t know how long I can continue coming to group. My daddy would be furious if he knew I was talking to anyone without his approval. Daddy wants so much to protect me !”

This still concerns me. Why would he be furious ? Does daddy have control issues ?

“Well, Meagan, you are here now, so how can I help you ?  If it feels like too much for you, you can stop at any time. But I do have a request that I make to each member of Group.”

“ What is it Coach ? ”

“ Well, Meagan, I have my picture and bio on the web site to hopefully make everyone comfortable in talking to me. It makes me more of a real person instead of just words on a computer screen. I ask that you send me a recent picture of you. The quality doesn’t’ matter. It just helps me relate. Now, if that makes you uncomfortable, don’t do it. I won’t be angry and it will not cause me to refuse to listen and “coach” you if that is what you want. 

“ I guess I don’t mind sending you a picture. Let me think about it because, really, you can’t help me. I mean, I don’t need help with anything.”

Then Meagan began a long explanation, that seemed to be very curious, defensive  and bothersome to me.

“ I mean I do not need any help, I am good and safe. I just wanted you to know that daddy and I have a great relationship and he is helping me plan my future. Daddy wakes me gently every morning at five-thirty sharp so we can go running together. Then when we return from our run, I shower and he weighs me.

   Then Daddy fixes me breakfast and we eat together, he packs me a lunch and drops me off at the University. Most days he picks me up at the Library and we go home to run again. Then the shower and weigh-in and “daddy” fixes us dinner and we talk about my future.  Daddy is a very successful attorney, and he never loses cases. He says he is creating me  in his own image and likeness, whatever that means. He just cares so much ! My life is all planned out. Then I study while he goes to some Men’s Club downtown. Whenever he returns he brings me my vitamin to take to help me to sleep, even when I am already sleeping. He cares so much, see ! ”

My mind is starting to spin  !  I am hearing things that concern me. 

She did not express any emergency or conflict. In fact it appeared to me quite the opposite. She was painting this glorious picture of the trusting, caring and loving relationship with her “daddy” !   I read her words, but my suspicious mind thinks she was creating this fairy tale relationship for me, but mostly for herself. But I did not question her, rather I tried to make her as comfortable as  possible so she would expose the reality of what was going on in between her glowing adoration of her “daddy” and her reality. I gently expressed that obviously she and her daddy shared an inter-twined relationship that most young ladies of nineteen do not have with their fathers.

I am thinking that Meagan’s father is a bit too involved, but I need more information. Who takes vitamins before sleep ? Even after she falls to sleep, the vitamins were important enough to wake her ?  There was no mention of the mother, and that seems odd, but certainly has me thinking. What about these weigh-ins ? What is this ‘daddy’ thing anyway ?  Although, since she lives in a Southern part of the U.S., this may be more of a custom. Is the father, I mean daddy, just an obsessive-compulsive controlling type ? I bit my tongue as I did not want to overwhelm her.

I mentioned to Meagan that it was all very interesting, and I would be happy to talk some more. She took the bait,  and I wonder why. We set up the next time to talk. 

I left the Private Chat Room hoping my intuitions were wrong. I think she is being smothered and controlled. In any case, I would have to work hard but with all due sensitivity to her very apparent dependency on her daddy.   In time, I would hope to convince her that she might have a female counselor to work with on occasion, since for now, she has not mentioned her mother. I think she will fight me on this. But again, any of this is conjecture on my part, and my suspicious mind at work. As a Caregiver,  I have an obsession with people taking control of their own lives, rather than becoming dependent on the approval of others.

The next day, I was surprised to get an e-mail attachment that was a picture of five family members, apparently together for Easter, unless Meagan has a habit of wearing bunny ears at other times. She had their names printed neatly under each person. There was her daddy, Lucius and her mother, Becky. Meagan was in the middle with her Uncle Larry and Aunt Ann to the other side. She also sent a picture of her labeled, me at five, holding a stuffed animal sitting on the edge of a canopy bed.

Meagan appeared to be pale, with reddish-blond hair, greenish-blue eyes, but looked very thin and fragile, not what I expected for a runner. Her nose was slightly turned up and she had what appeared to be some freckles. For some reason, her picture reminded me of Little Orphan Annie from the old comic strips.

Her mother Becky looked very much like Meagan, a pretty woman, slim figured but at the same time looking worn. Same reddish-blond hair and what appeared to be green or blue eyes but with a pasty complexion and dark circles under her eyes. She had a tight-lipped smile. But reminded me of the actress, Nicole Kidman, at the end of the movie Moulin Rouge, when she was ill and dying. 

Then there was daddy. Lucius looked intense. Dark, but graying hair, slicked back, with dark penetrating eyes that could look right through you. In good shape, around five foot ten,  reminded me of the actor Robert De Niro in one of his gangster movies. He seemed to be distracted, even irritated at his brother staring at Meagan.

Uncle Larry was taller, looked to be over six foot-two, dark hair, gray at the temples with brown eyes, a nice smile, and approachable, friendly. He didn’t look to be in as good of shape as his brother Lucius. He was looking warmly at Meagan with her bunny ears. He seriously could play  Brad Garrett’s role as Robert from  the ‘Everyone Loves Raymond’  T.V. series.

Then there was dear Aunt Ann. Much shorter than Larry, about five-seven, a little over-weight and appearing troubled or sad looking at her husband looking at Meagan. Brought to mind the Edith Bunker character in the ‘All in the Family’  TV series, a middle aged Jean Stapleton.

Meagan continued to come to the Support Group not mentioning anything about herself but only being supportive of others. Then she again asked for another Private Chat session.